My Depression Journey!
This post contains details about MY journey with depression & suicide! Please take care when reading this post if you are a person triggered or affected by other peoples stories! If you need someone to talk to PLEASE reach out to someone you trust, Myself OR one of the amazing organisations here in NZ to help! You are NEVER alone!
Places to contact if you need to talk:
Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP)
Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
Samaritans – 0800 726 666
Depression Helpline – 0800 111 757 or free text 4202
Depression & suicidal thoughts have been a part of my life since I was very young! I remember the first time ti started to have suicidal thoughts was when I was around 8 years old. Although I don't remember much about what I was thinking at the time I remember a conversation I had with a police officer who was at a call out to our place due to my mother and partner fighting. I remember being questioned by this officer and telling him that I didn't feel safe and I wanted to die.
Over the years my suicidal thoughts have come in waves somethings they were very strong and other times bearly exist. At my worst, my suicidal thoughts became suicidal plans and then suicidal attempts. This was at a time in my life where I had no support, I was alone facing a lot of problems and just didn't want to live anymore. I wanted to die so I was no longer in pain and no longer struggling.
Thankfully each of my attempts were caught before it was too late.