March 8, 2018

Over the last few weeks i have been reminded that when things are bad people do one of two things they either run away or gather around. 


I have been surprised as to the one who have run away and the ones who have stepped up to be there for me and the ones who have run away. 


At the moment i am facing some pretty scary health things. I have a few possible diagnosis on the cards. At this time i am choosing to keep this information private and only telling family and selected close friends. 


What i am trying to understand is...... What is wrong with some people?? Why do people say they care and that they love someone and that they will always be there for someone but yet when it comes to the tough times they run away? 


I always thought i could rely on certain people to be here for me during my dark times. But i am currently facing one of the most scariest things i have ever had to face and yet the ones who i thought i could count on are the ones who are furthest away. 


My entire life i have always been the one who goes running anytime a family member or friend needed help.... But for some reason i can't seem to get that same respect and loyalty back. 


I think what is super strange is that i am getting so close to people who i normally am not that close to and getting further away from the people who i used to be so close too. 


Why is it that in a terrible situation you have some people who become closer to you and others that end up further away? Is it because the ones who are normal close are sick of me? Or are they scared of facing what is the reality of this illness? Am i closer to the people who i am not normally close to because they know what its like to be alone during a health battle?


So many possibilities..... But i think there is one thing i would like to say to EVERYONE!! If you are going to say you are going to stand by someone then you better do it! Dont run when things get tough! Stand there! Be the rock that they need! I am so over being left when i need people and it happens to so many people around me! 


If you don't have what it takes to love support and stand by then through the good the bad and the ugly then don't stand next to them at all! I for one would rather have no one and fight alone then think i have a army of support and discover i have no one!




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