October 9, 2019



Family tree's always look a little crazy right?? Growing up i never knew my family but once i did i realized that our family tree was beyond crazy in fact hard to explain crazy! 



When i was told this i was totally confused and in shock! It took me years to fully understand it!! 



So here it goes!! I had drawn this family tree earlier this year with the names but due to privacy reasons i will not be sharing names. So i have edited names out and replaced it with that i call those members of my family. 











At a glace this does not look too crazy right? But lets jump in a little deeper! I have 3 little brothers . 2 are my mothers boys with different fathers to myself and 1 is my fathers son with a different mum. These are indicated on the image with the first letter of their names. 


My mum has two brothers which are my uncles and they both have their own children my cousins. 


My dad has one sister my auntie and she has 3 kids my cousins. 


This is where it gets a crazy and complicated. See the name starting with D with a red box in two places? Yeah well he is my Aunties father but also my youngest brothers father. Yes you read that right my Auntie and i both have the same younger brother. This man is the man who is with my mother and was with my mother for most of my childhood. He was the man i was raised to believe was my father to later discover he was not! He is the same man who is responsible along with my mother for the messed up childhood i had. 


In a technical legal sense D is my step father which makes my auntie my auntie but also my step sister! CRAZY right? My mother ran away with my Nana her mother in law's husband! Who even does that?


This is one of the many reasons i went through a lot of horrible stuff in  my childhood. My mother & Her partner hated how much i looked like my dad. It reminded my mother of what she had done and that of course triggered a lot of things for her but instead of dealing with her own issues she took it out on me. Easier then facing her own demons i guess. 


I will never the day i was told the truth about who d was. It was not long after i had meet my Nan , Auntie & dad! I remember sitting at my nans house and her asking if i knew who he really was and of course i replied with my mothers partner and then i was told that he was actually my nans ex husband and my aunties father. It was so strange to hear. To start with i was just so confused! It took sometime to process what i was being told. 



Once i had understood it more i became so angry! Angry for what my mum had done and the pain she had caused so many but also angry because this was the reason i was hated so much. This was the moment i truly realized that what she and D put me through was NOTHING to do with me and everything to do with what they had done. 


Still to this day this is a BIG secret in my mothers world. Not in mine and not in my dad or dads side of the family. But if you asked my mother today she would deny this whole situation. She hides from my youngest brother that he has another sister and i was not allowed to talk about my other side of the family around her or my brothers. 


Having such a crazy family tree is a little strange and i used to feel like it was something that needed to be hidden but through the years i have come to terms with it and realized the only reason i feel like it needs to be hidden is because that is what my mother wants but it does not matter to me what she wants anymore. 


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